Monday, October 8, 2012

The Tantrums

Hey everyone! Sorry about the hiatus but after a super busy and hectic 2 weeks I'm BAAAACK!

So as any momma can tell you when you start talking about dealing with toddlers… the subject of demon exorcisms toddler tantrums and meltdowns is never far behind. Before I had L, when I’d go to Target and see a little one in the toy isle crying and acting as if the last puppy in the world had just been sold, I’d ever so stupidly nod my head, roll my eyes and walk very quickly in the opposite direction. Why oh why was it that every time I saw one of these little people, they seemed to be in the middle of some elaborate kind of fit? Whats so hard about having everything done for you, playing, eating, napping and pooping all day? I will now sheepishly admit, after living with one of these little people day in and day out for the past 4 years, that I should apologize. Not to you momma, but to your little one.

The sad truth for our toddlers is that the world that we ever so carefully and lovingly orchestrate for them is a rough place full of puzzles, commands that don't make sense, and security guards with a stop/no sign at every corner. How annoying that must be! I mean think about it, how pissed would you be if you walked into Macy's and everything that caught your eye had a do not touch sign? What if everything that you wanted to discover or explore was off limits? Yea, Id be pretty pissed. Nonetheless no amount of  reading or prepping during my pregnancy could have prepared me for the attitude that came with my beautiful baby boy and masterful performances that are the tantrums he has recently become a fan of. He is  not (Thank the Lord!) a fan of public tantrums. He has instead opted to become a fan of melting down in the middle of the day or late at night when he is tired but too wound up to go to sleep. Great, right? AHHHHH!

We tried time out, we tried spankings, we even tried rewarding him when he didn't have a fit.....we could just about snap to time how long those solutions lasted. Then we discovered grounding him from toys & play time with daddy (his favorite time of the day). Success!! Even as little people we value the things we love. Now gentle reminders of "we don't want to be grounded do we?" usually stop tantrums right in their ugly little tracks. Dealing with tantrums is about figuring out why they happen and how you can prevent them. Small meltdowns are sadly a right of passage with any toddler and with time we all learn to just close your eyes & cuss internally take them and roll with the punches (NOT LITERALLY; never hit the baby!). The tantrums that are owed to sleepiness or hunger are the most common meltdowns, usually easily cured with a snack, meal or a bed.

The first and most difficult lesson about tantrums that I was ever so rudely taught by L was to keep my emotions under control when dealing with his tantrums. Through trial and error (yea, that's what I'll call it), I learned that screaming or yelling back at L is to say the least of little use. I will again shamefully admit that I did yell back once in a moment of utter frustration and it resulted in both of us crying and upset. Not a pretty sight. That was when I realized that we were both overwhelmed. My epiphany came right after that realization. 

Its hard being a kid! Being told what to do 24/7, discovering something one day & expecting it to be second nature the next, being told no!, stop!, quit!, don't! 12bagillion times a day. They are always on our schedule, they get to play but only by following our rules, they get to eat what we cook or buy in the drive-thru, they must do as they are told by us and only that. That sounds like a  super shi**y day at work right!? Well, that's their everyday. Mind Blown, right?! haha

Alas, at the end of every day, we mommas and daddy's still have the crappy duty be the stop sign, the caution slow down patrol, and all so hated villains in our little peoples lives. Sorry, its the crappy truth. L has to eat, he has to sleep, he has to be buckled into his car seat every car ride even if we are just going to the corner store, he cant run into the parking lot because I'm 5 feet behind him, he cant have sprite with every meal, and he cant sleep in our room every night. Now, that having been said, I would like the records to show that I have publicly declared that I feel for our little people so that in 40 years when I am in a sweet little nursing home in California somewhere, our babies will recall my understanding about their treatments and hardships in toddler hood and please treat me with love.

Have a beautiful week my darlings!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Unknown

If you really knew me you would know that I am NOT a morning person. In Missas perfect world I stay up till 2 in the morning & wake up bright eyed & bushy tailed at 10 am sharp

You'd know that my feelings get hurt very easily but I will never admit it (shhhh)

You'd know that my favorite thing to do in the world is lay on the couch with D & L watching TV doing nothing else

You'd know that my favorite day of the week is Sunday because I get to lay & do nothing with my boys 

You'd know that my favorite smell in the world is L, Weird I know but I love the way my baby smells. Always have always will.

You'd know that my weekly mani pedi time is right under oxygen, food & family time in my book of needs

You'd know that if one of my nails chip even a little I HAVE to get them all repainted

You'd know that I sometimes speak without thinking and that it often bites me in the a**. I've gotten better about it now usually it only comes out when I'm excited about something or when I'm angry

You’d know that I cant stand rude people. Manners are super important to this gal

You'd know that people that chew with their mouth open be it food or gum gross me out beyond words

You'd know that I wash my hands about 20-25 times a day & I think hand sanitizer is disgusting

You’d know I listen to music pretty much every hour I’m awake. From the time I get in the shower in the morning to the time I get in the shower before bed 

You'd know that even though L is 4 wahhhhh! I still check about 5 times an hour during nap time to make sure my baby is still breathing

You'd know that I'm never satisfied with me. Please don't get me wrong, I am NOT saying that I'm not happy because I am very happy but I always want more. I want to do more, accomplish more, be....more.  Yes I know its not a good thing because it keeps me from being thankful for how good I do have it...but that's a story for another day 

You'd know that the only 2 people in the world that could write this for me are my momma & my husband

You'd know that I like to keep my feelings bottled up in order to avoid conflicts & THAT also usually bites me in the a** resulting in a meltdown teary snotty mess that my poor husband has to put back together (God I love that man)

You'd know that I hate asking for help, even when its something small or simple I hate it & it makes me feel inadequate 

You'd know that this post is really hard for me to write because its made me confess things that I have kept locked up safe and sound in the depths of my brain 

And lastly you would know that I could go on for a long writing in this post because there are so many things about me that most people that think they know me have no idea about, not bad things, just things that I choose not to share about me.....

haha Anyways I hope y'all have all had a wonderful hump day & may you all have a wonderful hump night! Bow-chicka-wah-wow!! <3

XoXo Missa

Monday, September 24, 2012

The Accidental Co-Sleeping

Look at him, he looks so sweet & peaceful. Maybe because he is taking up 3/4 of our king size bed by sleeping sideways on OUR bed? Yup, he did it again. As he does every single night he wondered into our room at 4:30 this morning in zombie mode & crawled in between D & I only to kick, slap & twist & turn his way into the beautiful little mess you see above. When did we become co-sleeping parents? Well, the answer is not quite as simple as Id like. As a new born he slept in a cute little bassinet about a foot away from our bed as this was far more convenient for me to just roll over and bring him to bed for his night time nursing & then put him right back. At about 3 months he began to sleep thru the night without any night feedings. Once he slept thru the night we moved him much to my dismay into his own room to sleep all alone in his very own crib. waaaahh

When he was 8 months old we decided to move from Dallas to OD as bi-weekly trips to and fro were becoming all too familiar. (seriously, the ladies at the airports loved seeing me wonder into the airport with my cute smiling little guy in tow.) I digress, When we moved back the timing was all screwed up so we ended up crashing at my mommas for about 2 1/2 weeks while our house was being readied for us. During this 2 week period little man slept where else?.... Yup with us! Oh how we loved waking up to the sweet little face & the cute little coos that came with him. He is after all our only child. DUH! Once we moved into the new house we realized his room was all the way across the house. Noooo! How am I supposed to make sure he's breathing & ok thru the night?!? So we developed a lengthy bedtime routine of bath, back pats & lullabies until he was asleep & then we promptly snuck out across the house into our room. The routine has evolved from lullabies to books but its still the same. 

About 1 year and a half ago we moved to a new house where his room is *Gasp! even farther from ours than at the old house. A bit after his 3rd birthday we realized he didn't fit in his toddler bed very well. Maybe THATS why he's coming into our room every night? Hes uncomfortable, we thought. So being the naive parents that we are we ventured with our little guy & let him pick any bed he wanted for his "Big Boy" room. He settle on a gigantic monstrosity with a club house underneath & a slide. Thinking that any kid would love this bed we promptly ordered it but they didn't have it in stock so we would have to wait 7-14 business days for it to arrive. Then and only then did we realize that we weren't going to come home with a bed & D had already taken his toddler bed apart & neatly packed it in storage. So where was my sweet beautiful only child to sleep? Yup! With momma & daddy. This was when we realized he is a crazy sleeper that one, tossing,  turning, kicking his way all around our bed. Oh that bed couldn't get here soon enough. The day it did I left early from work to pick it up & D spent the afternoon putting it together so our little guy could sleep in it that night. When it was finished L Loved it. He played in the clubhouse & slid down the slide a hundred times before it was time for bed.

When bed time came we tried to go back to our routine of bath, back pats & story time. Only to have the rude awakening that no matter how cool his room and bed was he was not going to sleep in it with out a fight. He cried & cried that night until both D & I were so exhausted that we gave in & put him in bed & told him that he was just sleeping with us ONE  more night & then he had to go into his room after that. He promptly nodded his head & went right to sleep. One more night wasn't gonna hurt right? WRONG! After that we developed the horrible habit of laying in his room with him until he went to sleep, most nights we fall asleep before he does then we wonder like zombies into our room at midnight or later to sleep. Its exhausting but problem solved right?.... NOPE! We now have a little zombie that wonders into our room at about 3:30 or 4:00 every morning to wedge himself in between D & I and falls fast asleep again. This after we stay in his room reading & patting & singing twinkle twinkle till we ourselves fall asleep.

Last nights episode was one for the books. He had a tantrum like a champ after we told him he could not sleep with us. I'm talking floor kicking, throwing himself to the ground & crying as if we had just told him his puppy was run over for about an hour, but we didn't give in. He cried himself to sleep in his room only to AGAIN wonder into our room at 4:30 this morning.

Its so frustrating but I have to remind myself that we are his safe place, we are where he feels like his scooby doo monsters & ninja bad guys wont ever get him. Oh patience in parenthood. That is a lesson I am trying to master everyday. Until then I guess we deal with a little zombie that likes to cuddle at 4:00 in the morning. It makes me sad & happy at the same time to realize that it wont be like this for long, blessedly he's getting bigger & bigger everyday. Anyways, This Ladies & gents is how we accidentally created a co-sleeper.


This is me

So to clarify this is not per say a typical "Blog". I'd like to think of it more as mental note / personal venting spot. I have so much in my head sometimes that I felt like I could benefit from just... pouring it all out some where, and, thus Adventures in Mommaland was born! Boom!! Haha I am a (cringe) 27 year old full time working mommy & wife. I am a behind the scenes employee for an amazing non profit that specializes in pediatric rehab. For the most part I love my job.... But then again there are THOSE days..... More on that later. Haha

I am momma to a beautiful 4 year old little guy that is (for better or worse) the center of our universe. I have been married to my sweet goofball of a husband for almost 6 years & we have been together for a total of 10 years. We live in a booming little oil town in West Texas, after living for about 6 years in Dallas. Oh boy do I miss it! But alas home is where your heart is and my family happens to reside here, so here we are! As much as I would like to agree with the majority of the folks that live here I don't hate this town. Not that its great and wonderful it most certainly is not, but, Its home. Its where I was born & grew up, went to school, graduated from & learned most of what I know. This little oil patch is where I'm from & I'm not ashamed of it. I guess you could say I'm a Proud Southern Belle.

I am a Sarcastic, dramatic, independent, needy, clumsy, loud, happy, stressed, friendly, passive, laid back, fool! I am a certified stress baker, I am a shopaholic at heart, I hold things in until its too much & I explode, I talk with my hands, I am well mannered but will drop an F bomb without thinking twice, I have the most annoying loud laugh ever, I am a girly girl, I am an expert on Pinterest, I say yes ma'am & no ma'am even if I want to kick you in the vadge, I am me. My life is not perfect, far from it, but I love it. Its a crazy, stressful, funny mess but its all mine & adore it. This, ladies & gents, is Me. Have a beautiful day my darlins'!